Comfortably Numb

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Not sure where to start with this one.

Have you ever looked at my Facebook profile – specifically the “About” portion that lists my workplaces?

Dave Abbott Band
I sit on stage between Paul and Dave.

This is what I have had listed as my workplace for several years.

This is what I have had listed as my “workplace” for several years.

A certain bond is formed among musicians who truly connect on a musical level. It’s incredibly rare (at least in my experience) to truly feel at peace playing with a musician who I know and trust will always be there. I felt that musical kinship with my good friends, Paul Reynen and Dave Abbott.

DAB

L-R: Dave Abbott, Andy King, Paul Reynen

Paul left this world over the weekend and the loss is slowly starting to sink in for me. If you understand the importance of the bass in a rock band, particularly a power trio, then you might have an inkling of my state of mind. And if you understand what it is like to play with a really, really talented bassist you know how epically bummed out I am right now.

Paul at Mt View Gig

Paul at Mt View Gig

Being a drummer, I always have a built in relationship with the bassist – whether I like the person or not because drums and bass go hand in hand. When the two lock in together both musically and personally, it’s like peanut butter and chocolate.

Dave doing whatever the fuck he wants while Andy and Paul hold it together.

Dave doing whatever the fuck he wants while Andy and Paul hold it together.

Over the past 25 years or so, Paul and I fell into our respective roles as a musical peanut butter cup: me – the peanut butter; Paul – the chocolate providing the solid outside shell that held the whole thing together. Even if we were pissed off at each other, the music was always consistent – all because the shell was holding it all together. Dave could solo all night and Paul would be right there, I-IV-V ad infinitum, unwavering.

Dave Solo

Dave Solo

As a musician I learned a lot from Paul over the years. The number one thing was that life isn’t a drum solo. The second thing was everything can be played slower than I ever imagined. If I’d speed up or play too many fills and get a nasty look from Paul. This happened quite often when I was first started playing with Paul. Over the years the nasty looks diminished as I matured as a musician – on some occasions I’d even get praise from Paul! Holy smokes! Wow! I had the opportunity to share with Paul that I felt some other bands I played with in the past played everything to fast and I had to ask them to slow down to which he said he simply laughed and said “So you’re the ‘Paul’ of the other bands! Ha!” He was proud to have trained me well in all things slow!

Andy and Paul w/DAB

Andy and Paul w/DAB

Paul had a rocky life with lots of ups and downs both personally and professionally. He was a cancer survivor among other things. He had a few challenging relationships. His job was a source of stress.

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He was emotionally disconnected from it all.

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Being disconnected was not a good thing for his mental health or for the mental health of those around him, but it allowed his musical performances to be rock solid and consistent. Whether he was angry or falling over laughing, the parts he played were always spot on.

Paul - Goofy

Paul – he loved to mainline Red Bull

Regardless of anything else going on around him, he was good at serving the music and making others sound good (just ask Dave!). Which is amazing considering (I have to be honest for a moment here) he was one of the most selfish people I’ve ever met.

Not even giving the courtesy of a reach around...

Not even giving the courtesy of a reach around…

Luckily for me I learned about his selfishness on our very first gig together. I had arrived at the gig early and Paul showed up a few minutes after me. Coming from a good upbringing and a solid background of healthy relationships with musicians up to that point (I was 19, by the way), I helped him unload his bass rig from his truck and help him get all is gear  inside. I then went out to my truck to get my drums and bring them in and naively asked Paul if he would help me as I had helped him. His response was something to the effect of “No can do. I’m already a jaded musician who knows better than to help others.” And thus began one of the weirdest relationships I’ve ever had with another human being. I genuinely liked this guy, but I wouldn’t be helping him with moving gear ever again. Ever. It’s a damn good thing he could play the bass so fucking well.

Paul at Mt View Gig

Paul at Mt View Gig

His selfishness ruined what could have been a huge win for him. I’m the guy in the band that always has a running truck, I’ve got a trailer, I have loaded and unloaded gear for pretty much every other musician I have worked with. I’ve let people store gear in my trailer, home and garage. I’ve cleaned up after musicians too drunk to remember to grab their guitar at the end of the night. Paul’s gear never had to ride home in the rain in his open bed truck if he had just acquiesced and been even the tiniest bit a team player off the stage.

Look carefully and you'll see Paul "helping" Dave set up the PA for a gig… (I kid, I kid)

Look carefully and you’ll see Paul “helping” Dave set up the PA for a gig…

But he served the music so goddamn well despite himself. He had the chops and personality to be a lead bassist and he certainly had the gear to overpower anyone else on the stage if he chose to – and yet he didn’t. There was something about music that got through his selfish barrier. He got “it”. He was the guy I wanted to be on stage with. He was the guy who never played a wrong note. He was the guy who had the ability to play so slooooooooow it hurt followed by a string of speedy riffs that would boggle the mind. He played it all extremely well and he only played what was needed, when it was needed. Incredible.

DAB - Paul and Dave up front

DAB – Paul and Dave up front

In the end, Paul, Dave and I had played so many gigs together we could start and stop on a dime, hear a single note and know what song Dave wanted to play next, give a nod and know instinctively to go to the bridge, or with a look in the middle of a guitar solo know that we will be dropping from a rocking straight ahead steam roller blaring away at fortissimo into an extra-lazy half-time-feel reggae pianissimo jaunt.

Dave, Andy, Paul

Dave, Andy, Paul

That kind of non-verbal communication is where Paul and I did our best bonding, where we had some of the closest moments of friendship. While I treasure those moments, I really wish we had had better deeper personal conversations so that I could really get to know my friend as well as he deserved to be known….

Mind meld in progress….

Mind meld in progress….

I am finding it really difficult to say goodbye to 20+ years of winks, nods, inside jokes, shared adventures, and camaraderie. Some of the absolute best laughs I have had in my life were a direct result of Paul. That guy’s sense of humor was appropriately congruent with mine as to make time spent together absolutely worth it – with the music being the icing on the cake.

This was in 2014; could have as easily been 1994. I was really hoping it would be us in 2034.

This was in 2014. Could have as easily been 1994; I was really hoping it would be us in 2034.

I really thought that the three of us would be playing the same old songs together for another 20 years. I wanted that. I was able to clearly envision it. “Stranglehold”. “War Pigs”. “La Grange”. “Too Rollin Stoned.” The music was a constant in my life. We’d get together for a few hours every few weeks and entertain some people in a bar. Easy as that. We never rehearsed – we just played gigs. For me, that is the perfect band. The selfish part of me wanted these musical moments to happen forever. I am blessed with the opportunity to play with many talented musicians but Paul on bass and Dave on guitar was my dream team. I used to turn down gigs Dave offered if Paul couldn’t make it. Paul was that important to me.

Goodnight

Goodnight

I am presenting a single side of a multifaceted person. I don’t scratch the surface here but I did want to say a few words out of respect for the person I knew for 20+ years. Obviously there is a lot more to say, some of it falttering to Paul, some of it not so much but, at least for me, the good far outweighed the bad and that is what I will spend my time reminiscing about.

Miss ya, dude.

This is a scene I will never have the pleasure of seeing ever again…..

This is a scene I will never have the pleasure of seeing again…..

 

Here’s a few pics – click any picture anywhere on this page to see it full size…. 

 

 

The warmth in the cold

This morning I learned of the passing of a friend. I learned of his passing the same way we all learn about everything these days – via Facebook. I was rather stunned and more affected by the news than I thought I would be. Jon Weiss always treated me well and I always had the utmost respect for him. Ironically, this bar owner from Appleton, WI died from liver cancer.

For the last couple of weeks I had been planning on purchasing and downloading a compilation CD put together as a fundraiser for Jon and his family. I had the webpage open on my iPhone so I saw Jon’s caricature everyday whenever I opened up Safari. The likeness is uncanny and it made me smile. For some reason, this morning, when I first opened Safari and saw Jon’s caricature staring back at me, I decided to finally click ‘purchase’ and make my small monetary donation to Jon and his family.

Then later in the morning as I am working on an issue at work for a coworker named Jonathan, I get the disturbing news of Jon’s passing. I am always fascinated by the coincidences I encounter in everyday life and these two things definitely struck a chord with me.

Jon owned the Maritime Tavern in Appleton and for countless years it was the premier music venue for a large number of local bands and bands that were touring through the area. I haven’t been to the Maritime since early 2005 (wow – those 8+ years sure sped right by) and in the time since I was last there Jon made countless improvements to his bar to make the bar physically more appealing to musicians – but the one thing that the bar had way back when is what is really needed to build a world-class establishment like the Maritime – a person at the helm that gives a fuck about the music and more importantly the musicians. Jon Weiss embodied all that is good in a bar owner.

I played at The Maritime countless times between 2002 and 2005. I was a member of The Creeps and besides our regular weekend gigs at The Maritime, we were the house band for the Wednesday night jam nights that Jon hosted at his bar. And goddamn those were some of the best and worst gigs ever! The Creeps always had a great core group of fans but the Wednesday nights could be hit or miss; I mean it’s the middle of the week for crissakes – staying out late on a school night requires a special kind of person – a special kind of VERY DRUNK person to be exact. Oh the times we had….

The Creeps circa late 2002 @ The Maritime

The Creeps would start the evening at Tony Ramone’s house down in the basement rehearsing some new cover tunes and the odd original tune might get thrown in as well. This band played a lot of gigs and rehearsals together and was incredibly tight. The set list was hard rock and damn fun shit to play (“Shall we open the night with ‘Seek and Destroy’?” “Fuckin’ A we shall!”) After a good sweaty rehearsal the band caravanned over to The Maritime to set up for the weekly jam fest. Jon would be there to welcome us all in; needless to say we all had a drink in hand before any of our gear was even out of the cases. Oh the generosity of Jon took its toll on our health!

And speaking of gear that the band used, guess where we had our stuff stored? Right in the basement of The Maritime! Jon was the epitome of cool and allowed us to store our PA, speakers, and drums down in the basement! How awesome is that?! Name me one other bar owner that would be cool with having a band’s gear stored at his place.

Jon was even cool with us when The Creeps brought in some new subs (speakers for low end) that literally rattled the rafters at the Maritime. Shit fell off of the walls and the ceiling! Did Jon fire the band? Complain? NO! He had a good laugh about it along with the rest of us.

Jon - cleaning up the basement after The Creeps literally rattled plaster off the walls.

The Maritime was a great place to hang out even when a band wasn’t playing; again, that was because Jon was so uber cool. Many a night would be spent at that bar drinking, chatting, watching TV. It was comfortable. It was a home away from home for many locals. I remember going there for nightcaps and good times on my 30th birthday; it felt like the right thing to do. Fuck, we’d even go there before or after playing gigs elsewhere just because the vibe that Jon embedded in that bar was so awesome.

The Maritime was the warmth in the cold, the A/C in the summer, the gathering place for friends, and the premiere venue for local musicians to play. Jon built an empire just by being cool.

How cool was Jon? Just go on Facebook and you’ll see the outpouring of love for him. I don’t think anyone disliked Jon. How many people can you say that about? How many people can you say that about in the music business?!

 

So long, Jon. You were a good friend to many and set the bar so high for club owners I don’t expect to ever see anyone else come close matching you.

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A little bit of trivia: the only time I ever played my Pork Pie drum kit on a gig was at The Maritime for a Thanksgiving Eve show with The Creeps. Of course, Jon was there with a free drink and a compliment for the band.

More trivia: I had one of my broken cymbals hanging behind the bar. That always made me feel like a rockstar.